The Unspoken....

I loved the way we bonded this time.... with real love and concern for each other, maturely understanding and without any pretense.

Just a confession, I used to have a tough time at the college coming from a small town, never wanting to do medicine, burdened with some interpersonal issues, having studied in an all-girls boarding school, having lost the only brother in the previous year and being blamed by my mother for letting him go out of the house on that day.....it was very difficult to cope up...with that much pressure I never did know what to do, how to talk, how to behave. And with that confusion and ignorance came my share of being misinterpreted. No one better than me knows what it is to face social rejection. I used to hide my emotions, sometimes there were outbursts sometimes frivolous attitudes, at times just repressive measures.

Now, when I look back it all seems so weird that I actually used to die crying and thinking about all the rumors and that my name used to get embroiled in any controversy, I was perpetually in the now-what-did-I-do-yaar state? There was a time when I thought I was linked to each and every mishap that happened in college!
But you know what, it hardly matters now. What matters most is the love and respect I got from all of you, and I know it wasn't just to show. For a no-double-standards person like me who takes everything at face value, I can vouch that you all made me feel valued.

I think no one has a common definition of success because it is different  for each one of us. For me, this definition keeps on changing....today, I can say I am successful because I have a peaceful life, my family is supportive and rock solid, professional work is getting recognized though I am earning the least than any of my friends, I ain't keen on earning more than I get because we don't really need much (a hundred acres of ancestral farmlands are there to take care of my retirement), so far no major illness, kids are doing great. What more does one want? Just one thing, a genuine social acceptance. I also define Success as how many people smile when they look at you or laugh at your silly jokes, how many people want you to control your weight, how many people really want you to be happy, how many tell you their true story, how many just listen to you, how many share their inner peace with you,  how many people don't sulk or feel threatened by your presence that you will hijack the mike and steal the show, how many people want you to drink liquor in a proper way, how many warn you to stop drinking, how many dance with you, how many click pictures with you, how many are honestly concerned and help you resolve a crisis, how many just want you to be there. And considering all this my friends, I have not an iota of doubt that I am one of the most successful and blessed.

This GT has proved it.

SWATI PAWAR